I have always heard people say that the club is not a good place to meet a potential mate. However, I was one of those people who believed that Cupid can decide to draw back his bow and strike two unsuspecting single people at anyplace and anytime. However, as I age I am beginning to think that those other people were right. Recently, while standing at the bar at a local club and waiting to order an amaretto sour an attractive gentleman asked me if I had some gum in my purse. I had put some in my day purse but when I switched to my adorable black leather clutch for the evening I neglected to deposit it in the new bag. I politely informed him that I did not have any and after this revelation this gentleman who doesn't know me at all felt the need to school me in purse preparation. The convo went something like this.
Him: “A lady is always supposed to have some gum, mints or candy in her purse.”
Me: “Oh really. Why is that?”
Him: “A woman is supposed to have those things in case her man needs them. He might need to take care of his breath.”
Me: “Well, why can’t he supply his own gum since it’s his breath?"
Him: “You’re supposed to have it.”
I could tell this was going to go no where so I decided to let him believe that bullish instead of debating the issue. I really wasn't in the mood. He was cute, yes…..stimulating, no.
I then proceeded to watch him order a shot of Patron and a Corona. While waiting on his drinks he makes that same idiotic statement again. I just said, “ok” and hoped the bartender would give him his drinks quickly because this "lecture" had gotten old really fast. The bartender hands him his drinks and right before he turns to go he turnd to me again and said in a serious tone accompanied by a most serious face. “For real tho’ a woman is supposed to have gum in her purse. Some men use that as a test.” A test for what? I thought but instead of making the inquiry I replied, “So, if I fail then what?” He shrugged and said, “Then that’s on you,” and walked away. I have a feeling that I had just been given the gum test by this strange but attractive man and failed. Maybe he looked so serious because he was disappointed? I really don’t care because if that’s his way of selecting women then we’re probably not very compatible. I prefer a more complex test like his ability to hold an intelligent conversation without staring at a woman's breasts or whether he says something about sex right off the bat. However, I would still like to know what unscientific conclusion he could possibly draw from whether or not a woman has gum in her purse. The only logical answer I can come up with is it makes it highly unlikely her breath is funky? I've never been very good at thinking like a man. Maybe I should get Steve Harvey's book. Oh, wait....I think somebody e-mailed it to me. Bootlegging is on a whole new level these days.