Recently I had a couple of friends who were having a horrible time getting over very painful break-ups. I wrote this letter to encourage those who just can't seem to let go to do exactly that.
To My Heartbroken Sisters:
I know you’re hurting right now, and it hurts me to see you in so much pain. I know what it’s like to love someone with all you’ve got only to watch it crash and burn to oblivion. It feels like someone took your intestines out without anesthesia and then proceeded to hog tie you while you scream and writhe in agony. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you don’t want to go out and all you can do is think about the love you’ve lost. To add insult to injury, you might even have to endure the pain of watching the man you love lavish all the attention he used to give you on someone else. Hurts like hell, don’t it!
However at some point, you have to move on and I’m giving you two months to get it together and that’s being generous. At the end of two months, if you are still crying, slinging snot on my shoulder, talking about what used to be and trying to get me to drive by his house to see if “her” car is there, I am going to grab you by your arms and shake you until all the threads or glue from your weave give way and it comes tumbling to the floor. I can’t let you keep getting makeup and boogers on my shirts. (smile)
You have my deepest sympathy. I don’t get over break ups easily either, but what I’ve learned is no matter how wonderful he was, no matter how much I loved him…I’m the best thing I’ve got and when I’m sad, depressed, crying, lonely, whatever, I can’t function at top condition which affects the other aspects of my life--family, career, friends, etc. Whether it was your fault or his no longer matters. What matters is that it’s over and you’ve got to get ready for the next phase in your life. Keep looking forward girlfriend because you can’t see where you’re going if your head is twisted all around. Now, some men will play games with you and try to keep a foot in the door if you let them. You’re thinking that if you continue to sleep with him he’ll come back. I’m sorry but that’s nonsense. Trust me, a man will continue to sleep with you because he enjoys having sex with you, especially if you know exactly how he likes it, not because he thinks the two of you should get back together. If he decides to get back with you, sex will not be the deciding factor.
You’re allowing a man to prohibit you from living the amazing life God has given you. Wipe your eyes because you can’t see how beautiful life is if your eyes are filled with tears. You can’t even see what another man can bring to your life because you keep comparing them to him. You’re not being fair to yourself because you will experience love again. Maybe not now because you’re healing, but one day.
Find comfort in the people who love you, your friends, family, co-workers and God. Time and some helpful distractions can heal all wounds. Occupy the time you use to spend with him with a new hobby, exercise, recreational activities, etc. Be daring, learn to skydive, ride a horse, do some home improvements, take a vacation, or maybe learn to salsa. Go shake your booty til the sun comes up. You can get past the pain but you have to be strong and refuse to let anyone take you to the bottom cuz baby, you were born to be on top.