Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Dating Game

I’ve been told on more than one occasion that dating is a game. Well if that’s true, then I’m losing because I think the game is stupid. It’s not that I don’t understand the rules, I just don’t want to play by them. I don’t understand why if you like someone you have to act like you don’t in order to get them to like you back. I don’t understand why if I have the urge to call someone I’m not supposed to because he may think I’m being too pushy. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I don’t have time for the B.S. I don’t have time for these games.

We’re told in almost every aspect of our lives to be honest with ourselves and what we’re feeling except in dating. In dating, you’re supposed to put on this façade in order to attract someone. Then once you’ve captured their attention, there is this intricate game of cat and mouse and sometimes it’s quite confusing about who’s the predator and who’s the prey. As women, we’re told all these things but none of them guarantee success. Don’t move too fast, he’ll think you’re a slut. Show too much interest too soon, you’ll scare him away. Move too slow, you’ll bruise he ego and he’ll lose interest. But there are no hard and fast rules about what’s too fast, what’s too slow and what’s too much because every man is different. You’re just supposed to trust your gut and what if all you really had that day was a bad bout of indigestion and you get it all wrong?

I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like this game. I want to be able to say I like you and not worry about negative repercussions because either he really likes me or he doesn’t. I want to be able to ask him if he’s seeing someone else and get an honest answer. Cuz baby, I can handle the truth. It’s lies I despise. I want to know immediately if he really cares about me as a person or if he’s just trying to get in my pants. If that’s all you want just say so. It just might be your lucky day or you might get cussed the hell out. Either way, you got your answer without having to take me out on several meaningless dates. I want to be what we were told to be as children…honest and true. I know the world I’m describing doesn’t exist but it should.

I’m not quite sure what happens when you don’t want to play anymore. Do you take down your Facebook page, not answer any phone calls you don’t recognize and when a guy asks you out do you politely decline because you’ve turned in all your playing pieces and folded all your cards. Does that mean I’m going to die alone or does it simply mean I’m just waiting for someone who doesn’t feel like playing anymore either to come along? I guess there are a few rules I haven’t figured out yet or maybe I’m just a renegade because I can’t play by these rules. They don’t make a darn bit of sense to me. I was once told, in business the key is to learn all the rules, break them and then create your own. I don’t think that theory applies to dating and that's too bad because those rules I can get with.

1 comment:

  1. I got a few years on ya and I have to say that I think it's an age thing. Once I hit my 30s, I found so much clarity and realized that it was time to push past the nonsense and get down to the real. Now that I'm headed towards my 40s, you gotta be kidding! There's NO way I'm gonna waste my energy doing a lot of tap dancing to impress a man. I'm a 'Take It or Leave It' kind of sister.

    As I see it, anyone in their 30s and beyond who are still playing by these rules are quite childish to me. That could explain why women like you and I just simply don't date. We can't. Because the foolishness will drive us insane. I don't want to meet the representative, I want to meet the man. And if I have to go through the representative and spend a bunch of time trying to play detective or investigative reporter, it's not worth it. We're both in the same boat, awaiting that man that's tired of the games too. Let us not hold our breaths until he comes b/c we don't know how long that will be, but they are out there. Somewhere.