Saturday, March 3, 2012

Rihanna & Chris Brown Back Together?



Just like everyone else I have heard the news/rumors that Ri Ri and Chris Brown are getting back together musically and physically. I’ve heard the remixes they have collabed on and personally, I’m not impressed by either one. Now, the news of them getting back together was not a shock to me. If you looked at the stats it is not uncommon for the victim to return to her abuser. 

On a different note, I never liked the way that entire situation was handled. Yes, Chris was 100% wrong for putting his hands on a woman. However, I had a huge problem with Oprah Winfrey and the rest of the world making him the poster child for domestic violence. This problem existed way before him. The issue always needs to be addressed, especially among our youth who are experiencing such violence more and more as they grow in their relationships and learn what love is and what it isn’t. However, taking one man and throwing him under the bus and then dragging him through the gutter internationally was just wrong to me.  He needed help not persecution. Fast forward today, the courts have concluded that he has served his time and evidently Rihanna feels the same.  After such a horrendous experience, losing his girl, declining record sales, poor ticket sales and other loss of income I hope Chris Breezy has learned his lesson about putting his hands on women. It seems many of the jurors in the court of public opinion would have him banned from award shows, radio and concerts for life and left to rot in has been hell. In life we make mistakes, we learn from them and then we move on. However, being banned from Rihanna’s life is a totally different thing. That’s her decision and however much we hate it, we must respect it. 

I was extremely proud of how Rihanna handled the situation. She could have played the part of the victim and screamed abuser from the highest mountain, done hundreds of interviews and written a tell all book bashing him and allowed herself to become the poster child of a survivor for publicity purposes. Instead, she did interviews sparingly, was tasteful and classy in her choice of words and poured her emotions into her next CD, “Rated R.” Some of the songs on there were very dark, but to me it was some of her best work. I loved almost every song and you could hear her growth as an artist unfolding before you. So many of her songs now are massively commercial and they sicken me. Hence my dislike of her new song with Brown, Birthday Cake. I’m so tired of sisters promoting their coochie and bedroom skills on the radio as if that’s all they have to offer to a young man they’re interested in.  It has a nice beat though……..

It’s obvious that those two still possess a great amount of affection for one another, but if Rihanna and Chris Brown’s collaborations are any indication of how their reunion is going to go they’re in big trouble. Although commercially successfully, artistically I think both songs suck.

Now, my  personal thoughts on her and Chris reuniting….NO THEY SHOULD NOT GET BACK TOGETHER for three reasons. 

For one, I’m not quite sure that Chris Brown has fully dealt with his anger issues. His responses to his critics are often angry. He was reported snatching a cell phone from a fan for taking pics of him in his Bentley and his rant backstage on the set of Good Morning America and then blacking out are possible examples of this. Do those court ordered anger management classes work? 

Two, as much as I hate to say it because she is a pop icon Rihanna has a certain responsibility to set a good example for her fans, especially her young ones. She initially said that is why she and Chris broke up. She realized if she took him back she would be leading young fans astray. Unfortunately, that hasn’t changed. This thing is bigger than both of them and by getting back together it sends the message that  domestic violence is an easy fix and will give women around the world who should leave and never return hope that if they go home things will be different. Her not getting back with Chris seems to be for the greater good. Is it fair, no…but with great power comes great responsibility.

Three, if this ends badly Rihanna will be labeled the dumbest broad in history. I don’t see a need to elaborate on this point. 

There are so many ways to examine this. But I’m going to stay optimistic and pray that I am wrong. I hope Chris has learned his lesson, and they come out of this as a shining example that love does conquer all and an abuser can change. With God anything is possible. 

However, before I go I must ask…if the world can have sympathy for and forgive R Kelly for messing with underage children (Yes, I believe he did it), Michael Vick for abusing dogs, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston for their apparent inability to take control of their lives and kick their drug habit (I loved them too, but I have to be honest. RIP) and TI for making one dumb decision after another and repeatedly going to jail …..why isn’t Chris Brown worthy of the same? Each one of those public figures was welcomed back to work with open arms after paying their penance, beating their trial or appearing to have kicked their habit. I never said you have to love Chris but as Christians we are called to forgive. He did more than his fair share of crying and asking for it after the incident. 

That‘s my two cents……


This is one of my favorite songs from Rihanna's Rated R album. We've all been stupid in love before. 




Jae Henderson is author of the inspirational novels Someday and Someday, Too.

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