Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Problem With Break Ups

They say breaking up is hard to do. I say dealing with the aftermath of the breakup is harder. From the “I’m so glad he’s gone" feelings to the “I sure wish he would call or text" wishes. It’s that time where you pick yourself up and tell yourself repeatedly that you’re still the –ish and just because this didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re any less magnificent. The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t matter if it’s your fault or his fault or if you’re the dumper or the dumpee the end result is usually still the same. You have now been welcomed with open arms back into the singles club and you hope that you don’t have to hang out there too long before your next love interest comes along and snatches you out of there. I decided to ask men and women what they hate most about breaking up and the answers ranged from the hilarious to the slit your wrist that is so freakin sad. I asked them to omit the heart ache and pain stuff because that pretty much goes without saying. Names have been deleted to protect the sad and pathetic. I'm just kidding. We are allowed to feel however it is we feel. (-:

1.   I have no one I can make go to the weddings of people they don't know and will probably never see again with me.

2.    I messed up but I still want to be with her.

3.   I have no one who is obligated to eat my cooking and tell me that it's good.

4.   Deciding who gets the friends? Many times you hang out with other couples. But after the breakup...

5.   I got to start this mess all over again with the new man I think is Mr. Right.

6.   Getting rid of the pictures with him that you looked really cute in.

7.   Having to explain to people over and over again what happened and why you can't work it out.

8.    Being alone.

9.   Deciding who gets the stuff y'all acquired as a couple!

10.    Going to common areas hoping they're not there; Seeing their friends in the street praying they don't offer unsolicited updates; Feeling like you're forgetting something when their birthday comes around!!

11.   Seeing them with someone new.

12.   Trying to figure out who you're going to ask out this time because your
       steady date is no longer an option.

13.   Hearing/seeing/smelling any reminders of when you were together.

14.  Missing them and knowing they probably don't give a crap.

15.  Constant updates from friends/family members when they see him out.

16.  People asking me "Have u heard from him?"

17. Having to still deal with him because of the kids and when y'all break up 
     he moves in with the girl he cheated with and they marry less than a
     year later.

18. No Sex of course !!!!! I can't believe I let a perfectly clean person go DUH!!!!!!

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her books, Someday and Someday, Too are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, and and check out

my books Someday and Someday, Too while you're there.