Tuesday, August 21, 2012

RIP to That One





As a former radio personality I have met several people in the entertainment industry.  Some famous, others not so famous. Some were brief chance encounters and others blossomed into friendships. I don’t have any mega star friends. I’ve never even had contact information for anyone that I would classify as a celebrity. Well maybe a couple, but most celebs change numbers frequently so it’s hard to stay in touch unless they really want to. However, I do tend to stay in touch with band members, managers, personal security, etc. If I meet somebody and I think they’re cool, I’ll keep in touch. As a rule, if we’re in each other’s home city we’ll hit the other up and do lunch or something. Well, one such person who will remain nameless is a phenomenal musician who lives in Atlanta. He’s extremely talented, and I’ve enjoyed watching his progression as a musician. I’ve seen him on stage with everyone from Jay Z to Usher to Teddy Riley. I am so proud of him. He is a true testament to what hard work can get you. I let him know I was coming to visit my sister in Atlanta and suggested that if he wasn’t on tour with someone we could do lunch or something. His text message response had me picking my jaw up off the floor.

HIM: I’ll be out of town but I don’t have lunch with women I’m not sleeping with.

ME: Really? That’s shallow.

HIM: I know right

As the old folks say, he’s smelling himself. Needless to say, we haven’t talked since. Have women become so desperate to be near a man with money and status that they’re doing anyone associated with him now? Or perhaps any ole successful man will do. If I ever decide to become a groupie you better believe I’m starting with the top dog, the man whose name is on the tickets. But that will never happen. My body is a temple and only worthy to be shared with someone who loves me, not someone I feel enamored with because watching him perform brings me joy.

Ladies, we have got to stop encouraging this type of behavior. As long as women continue to indulge in these friendships with benefits men with and with/out status will think it’s okay to take us out to eat and expect to have our cookies for dessert afterward.

To say my feelings were hurt by his response would be an understatement. I’ve known that cat for at least five years, and I’m sorry to see that this is what he’s come to. Groupie love is temporary but friendships can last a lifetime. I pray his perspective shifts back to what’s real before it’s too late. Any man who believes he has to sleep with every woman he eats a meal with obviously isn’t on my level. I’m as real as they come.

One of the best types of wisdom is knowing when to walk away. RIP to that one. I don’t do shallow. 

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her books, Someday and Someday, Too are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, www.jaehendersonauthor.com and www.imagoodwoman.com.
www.imagoodwoman.com and check outmy books Someday and Someday, Too while you're there.

Friday, August 10, 2012

When Does Confidence Become Arrogance?




I was recently talking to a man on the phone and he asked what happened in my last relationship. I briefly enlightened him and he responded, “That’s okay. With me you’ve upgraded in class and quality.” My sister called his answer arrogant, but I actually found it kind of sexy. She said she would have hung up. His words made me want to know more. I guess the journalist in me was intrigued and wanted to get to know him better to see if it was true. What made him believe he was a man of class and quality? In your opinion, when does confidence cross over into arrogance? If I had to guess, it’s probably when you get tired of hearing him tell you how wonderful he is.

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her books, Someday and Someday, Too are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, www.jaehendersonauthor.com and www.imagoodwoman.com.
www.imagoodwoman.com and check outmy books Someday and Someday, Too while you're there.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I recently read an article by Clutch Magazine that asked if you can be religious and sexy. I found it to be an interesting topic and decided to explore it more. The writer interviewed actress Meagan Good, who many consider to be a sex symbol, about her sexy attire and how it has recently raised eyebrows since she is now married a pastor.  I found the writer's perception of sexy interesting. You can find a link to the article here. I suggest you read it before reading my comments.  http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/07/can-women-be-religious-and-sexy/





Here's my take on the topic topic.

I most definitely believe you can be religious and sexy. However, my problem with the article is that it focuses on sexiness as if it is something you can put on and take off with the articles of clothing you wear. It's true you can wear clothing and makeup to make you appear sexier but there is a huge difference between sexy and revealing. Sexy is an attitude. It appears in the way you move and the way you talk without you even having to try. It's natural and either you have it or you don't and if you are truly sexy, you can be fully clothed and people will notice. God made sexy just like he made sex. Now, how you flaunt it could be a direct reflection of your walk with God or your inability to determine appropriate from inappropriate. Could a woman really stand in the pulpit and minister in a bikini? I think not. No one would focus on her message no matter how good it was because they would be too busy focusing on her assets or lack thereof. Or look at it from this angle, how about the fine chick in an outfit that shows all her curves and six inch heels. I bet your last thought is "I bet she knows Jesus!"

However, if you choose to identify sexy by the articles you wear, ladies we have to ask ourselves if what we are wearing distracts from the Christ that lives in us. Does your outfit say saved, virtuous, and set apart from ungodliness? If the answer is no, you may need to change clothes. Ask yourself if Jesus were a woman WWJW (What Would Jesus Wear). I don't think she'd be wearing a cleavage baring top and booty shorts. IJS

If you're wondering what I think of Meagan. I personally love her as an actress and as a person. However, I wouldn't be surprised if as the wife of a pastor she finds herself toning down her sexy outfits.






My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her books, Someday and Someday, Too are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, www.jaehendersonauthro.com and www.imagoodwoman.com