Thursday, March 28, 2013

Sexting for Idiots

Men say they think intelligence is sexy but I've never been asked to send a picture of my brain.
 --Jae Henderson

Sexting is at an all time high. There are even awareness campaigns and "how to" rules being developed to help people stay "correct" when sending nudie pictures. WHAT THE HELL! Let me calm down and explain my displeasure at this tom foolery.

When a sexting photo goes viral it is now being called SEXUAL EXPLOITATION.  Are you really a victim if you sent the photo? Did the other person exploit you or did you exploit yourself? I know you're saying I sent it to someone I trusted. Or perhaps your phone or laptop was stolen. THINGS HAPPEN...TRUST NO ONE. If you're going to send them at least cut the head off. We always want to blame someone else for the problems we create. 

A couple of years ago I heard La La Anthony during an interview say that all women should send their man naked pictures to keep him happy, the relationship exciting...or something to that effect. She's married so what she and Melo do is their business. But when dating or in a relationship what happens when things don't work out? Someone you're not with and often times no longer like has pictures of you with your assets hanging all out and no obligation to delete them.  It has been previously determined in a court of law that the pictures are a gift and as such he has the right to do with them what he wishes. That includes save them for all eternity for whatever personal and/or devious purposes he might choose.

Now let's talk about the babies....I've had the female children of friends and family members subjected to being taunted and teased unmercifully after some little boy showed their naked or underwear pictures to all his friends. It was a hard lesson learned. No child deserves to be called a slut, ho, etc. while riding on the bus to school. It's bullying at its finest by children who are being immature children. One friend even transferred his child to another school it got so bad. Some reports state that children have been left feeling suicidal after nude photos went viral. Yet, instead of telling children to stop this foolishness we give them rules in which to operate within the foolishness. How about I tell my daughter I will beat you until you have no private parts worthy of  revealing if you ever do that mess. Then, I will take your phone and smash it to smithereens! Try contacting a little boy on that. The phrase, "Can you hear me now?" will have a whole new meaning. Think dammit! Some things children just shouldn't do and embarrass themselves and their parents that way is one of them!

Back to the adults.....not to mention those times when you accidentally post the wrong picture online. I remember one young lady hit the wrong button and uploaded a picture of herself with a penis in her mouth on Facebook. It was passed all around the beauty/barber shop for the patrons to see. I didn't even know the chick. From my understanding, she was a regular there. EMBARASSING! Unless you are auditioning to do porn you probably shouldn't take pictures like that....IJS.  

When a guy asks me to send him a racy photo I politely decline. If he ever sees my birthday suit he should take a mental picture. I may acquiesce for my husband. Then you better believe he'll think I used to pull the head off my Barbies as a child because all of them will be without a face. Many a person has been ruined by an inappropriate photo being released at the most inopportune time. If you have an enemy they'll find it so I suggest you don't give them the ammo to use against you. 

Also, ladies if a guy asks you to do that and you just met him he doesn't respect you. Delete his number and keep it moving. What would make a man think I would send that to a perfect stranger. PERVERTED IDIOT! Call me a prude, I don't care but I prefer the term cautiously intelligent.

If you're interested in the rules of sharing your body parts using electronic devices click the link below.

Sidebar: Stop sending naked picture of your ex to your friends after ya'll break up. That's so freakin childish! Be warned ladies there is a website dedicated to this! Don't believe me....

Technology is supposed to make life easier, not harder. I guess it's easier to be stupid.  

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Visit her at, and


Saturday, March 23, 2013

What Turns You On?

We each have qualities that we like to see in the object of our affections. Certain things like sex appeal, intelligence, a nice body, and a nice smile kind of go without saying. Now, what about those things that go below the surface and require talent or are a little bit quirky. For instance, I’ve talked to women who like a man with a gap in between his two front teeth while others would suggest he see a dentist fast. There are men can appreciate and woman with hair on her legs and/or chest. While others will dare any woman they date to come within two inches of them without shaving her legs. Some don’t mind their lady having a mustache. I personally like the men I date to shave their chests. Ever since I read a book many moons ago about how it’s important to wash regularly because hair holds dirt I’ve been leery of men with unkempt body hair.  I ain’t kissing that because it probably has dirt, perspiration, and remnants of his lunch in it. There’s a reason we don’t part people’s hair and lick their scalps!

One turn on for me is a man who is good with his hands—a do it yourselfer, a Mr. Fix It, if you will. This is probably because I was raised around men like that. My father, my grandfather, and my uncles were/are do it yourselfers. I recognize this was more than likely a byproduct of poverty but who cares. If you don’t have the money to call a plumber you better find out how to unclog that drain full of hair or get that boo boo water out of the overflowing toilet yourself.  I grew accustomed to seeing men taking care of the upkeep of their vehicles and their homes themselves.  I find it attractive to see a man under the hood of the car, up on a ladder, cutting his grass, or plunging his heart out over my sink. His muscles are bulging, brow sweating, arms covered in grit and grime all in the name of saving a few bucks. It oozes of raw masculinity, control, and intelligence. As long as he doesn’t have his butt crack showing, I love it. 

The first time I dated a guy who told me that he didn’t know how to change his own oil or brakes I almost choked. I wondered if he was really a man. I thought stuff like that was in the How to Be a Man Handbook. Of course, as I matured I realized that in order for a man to know those things he has to have someone in his life to teach him or be extremely self-motivated to learn. That particular guy never really had a father-figure in his life but he still turned out to be a pretty good man. I would actually rank him in the top three of all of my boyfriends but he was forever doling out money for repairs. So being mechanically inclined doth not make 
the man, but it certainly makes me randy baby and saves me money in the process!

Tell me my sisters, what turns you on?

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, and

Tell me my sisters, what turns you on?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

There's An App for That??

In an effort to add transparency to sex and hopefully make people safer, a company has created an app that will allow your doctor to share vital test results. In the dating world this will be used to allow someone to view your STD status.

I took an unofficial poll on FB to see what others had to say about this. Some thought it was a good idea because it could help eliminate the hesitancy some couples experience when broaching the topic of STDs.

Perhaps, but I'm not feeling it. I wouldn't do it. It seems like an invasion of my privacy. If a man wants to know my status, he can ask. I'll give an honest answer. If he wants me to take a test, ask. If that's the direction we're headed I'll do it and show him the results. But to have it in an online data base is just too much for me. What if my doctor decides to drink his lunch that day and inputs the wrong info by mistake? Now I have some fool running around telling people I got "da cootie vapors".

Also, people are only going to allow the doc to update it while the prognosis is good. The day they get some bad news they'll ask him/her to stop making updates.....I guarantee it. I can hear it now. "Hold on doc. Wait until I get rid of these crabs and then you can put in my new results. I can't have the honies knowing I'm all my business." While in the meantime, someone is at home wondering why he/she is itching down there. "Im gone kill Tyrone! I knew I couldn't trust him!" 

Sorry, I wish the creators luck in this new attempt to advance safer sex but I'll pass. If I make the decision to have sex, my partner and I should be able to talk about it openly and honestly. I'll look at his test results after he tells me what they say. They better match or he's gonna have some 'splained to do.

Read the article about the app for yourself. Click here.  

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday and Someday, Too are now available on Kindle and Nook. Visit her at, and 

Monday, March 4, 2013

There's No Place Like Home

For the past month my mother was in and out of medical facilities battling kidney failure and congestive heart failure. I brought her home a little over a week ago. Now, in the comfort of familiar surroundings while under the watchful eyes and hands of people who love her, she is slowly but surely recovering. A week ago she wasn't bathing,  feeding herself or walking. Now, she goes into the bathroom and handles her daily cleansing herself, she picks up her utensils and attacks that food with such a savory zeal I can't help but laugh. With the help of her walker, she maneuvers around the house. It's obvious to see that she is doing much better. I thank my Heavenly Father for his healing mercies.

While in the hospital, I noticed a physical and mental deterioration within her that has been medically labeled ICU Psychosis. It is where the person has a negative reaction to being in a hospital setting. The symptoms are many but the ones my mother experienced were sensory deprivation, sleep disturbance and deprivation, hallucinations, stress, and lack of orientation.

I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life than I was to see her behave so erratically. She was awake for 48 hours at a time hallucinating. One night, she screamed for water and bug spray because she thought she was on fire and bugs were crawling all over her. She talked about people who had been dead and buried for years as if they were still alive and contacting her. Her delusions manifested themselves into an absurd plot for her to escape the hospital. One night she sat up all night devising her plan of escape asking me to tie her sheets together, find her some rope and scarves. As if we were going to jump out the third floor window of the hospital unharmed and skip our way to freedom. This was not logical and so outside the norm for my sensible mother. These were not good times and through it all, my mother expressed her desire to simply go home. As soon as she was medically able to return home, I swiftly took her there. Hospitals are horrible places for her to be mentally. 

Most of what my mother experienced has dissipated while she has been home. Grateful is an understatement in regards to the grace and mercy God has show us both. I now realize what great healing capabilities being in the place where you feel safe, loved, and cared for can have on the human mind, body, and spirit. In the words of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, "There's no place like home."

Now what does this have to do with being single? As my mother and and I each work to get her back to the level of health she once was, I wonder as a single woman with no children, if such a fate befell me who would take care of me. Not having children never seemed like such a big deal before but now I'm not so sure. If I were in a hospital seemingly out of my mind would a niece, nephew, cousin or aunt step up to take care of me and be my advocate with hospital personnel? Hhmmm I wonder.

Do things like this ever concern you?