Wednesday, May 15, 2013

That Darn Thing Called Closure

"A women who knows her true value will only put up with a man's nonsense for so long. 
You either get right or get left."--Harriet Morgan

I recently ended a relationship. It ended abruptly because I was fed up with repeated less than desirable behavior.  There was no “Baby, we need to talk, AGAIN. Can you meet me somewhere? Explain to me what’s going on with you.” There was just a fed up voicemail and a nonresponsive man. After I calmed down, I asked if could we discuss what happened. I wanted and needed closure. My request went unanswered. I wanted to know why he would continue behaviors he knew were detrimental to our relationship. We talked about them several times, he apologized and said he would do better. He didn’t. Was he purposely trying to get me to end things. If so, why? This was a man who spent months trying to woo me only to push me away three months later. Was he fed up with me? Bored with our relationship? Had he met someone else? Did I do something wrong I was unaware of? Did I stink? Did I have an onslaught of boogers in my nose? Why all of sudden did Mr. Dependable, I Can’t Get Enough Of You become Mr. I’ll See Ya When I See Ya And If I’m Not Coming I May Or May Not Tell You? His change was so instant and I was so unprepared. I don't claim to have responded in the best manner, but we all have our breaking point. It seems I will never get the answers to these questions because he won’t talk to me. Even if he did, I run the risk of not liking what he has to say. Maybe it’s better this way. I’ll just have to charge this one to the game and move on with the knowledge that everything happens for a reason.

Why do we need this polite finality called closure? I think it’s more important to women that it is to men. We want it even when we know that an understanding for why things happened the way they did won’t change the outcome. However, you can’t get closure unless the other person is willing to talk to you. Oh well……moving on. 

I remember years ago Gerald Levert put out the song above. That darn thing called closure keeps you from walking away without giving what you lost a second thought even when you know it's over and done with. I feel ya Gerald. I most certainly feel you.

 My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Visit her at, and

No comments:

Post a Comment