Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I Crave Substance

It’s a new year!! I don’t know about you but I don’t have any lofty goals regarding my love life in 2014. Actually, I have resolved to spend more time on my business endeavors and less on my personal affiliations. I’m sure I’ll still date but if a man wants to get my attention he’s got to throw something of substance my way.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t give a crap about expensive toys. I live in a house that is almost as old as I am but has been well taken care of. I drive an old car that is paid for in full and runs well (most days). I buy most of my clothes at consignment shops and thrift stores and receive compliments on them all the time. I am far from a techie, and I am woefully behind on the latest developments in the industry. I still have the first iPod that was invented and if memory serves me correctly I bought the desktop computer in my office in 2001. In short, I LOVE saving money. If it ain't broke, I don't replace it.

However, I have nothing against people who have to have the latest and greatest in everything. If it makes you happy and you can afford it--by all means buy it and if you can’t don’t be stupid. Get your money up and stop going in debt and stressing yourself out over something you probably won’t even want three years from now. Anyway, I do have a problem with people who feel the need to brag on and flaunt their things. I have always believed that true swag, beauty, style, etc. is validated by others not oneself. If you got it going on people will see it and they will compliment you and comment about how blessed you are. Can I get an AMEN?

One weekend, a man in a nice car pulled up behind me at the grocery store and asked if he could have a few moments of my time I didn’t think much of it because that has happened before. I politely obliged. However, during our conversation he felt the need to tell me that he was well off , his kids are grown, and that the car he was driving was a 2012 Camero. I must say I winched. I gave him my number anyway because he was very polite and seemed quite sincere about getting to know me. In other words, he seemed nice. However, I had another wincing moment when he left me a voicemail and reminded me of who he was by referring to his car. He could have just said his name or that I met him at the grocery store and I would have known exactly who he was. I get my fair share of play but not so much that I forget who I met within the span of 24 hours.

Why do people do that? Has the world become so superficial that people would rather tell you about their contents than their character? I hope this is not the norm because if it is I just might be single forever.

I want to hear intelligent conversation. I want to hear about his charitable contributions and volunteerism, how spending time with his kids is the highlight of his day. I want to hear about the last book he read that wasn’t erotica or a ghetto hood novel. I want to hear about his hobbies, hopes, dreams, and fears. Maybe next time he calls we’ll get to broach one of those topics.

I crave substance and that is something money can’t buy.

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. She will release Things Every Good Woman Should Know, Volume 1 in February 2014. Visit her at, and 

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