Friday, May 16, 2014

You Are Beautiful

How many of us truly believe that we are beautiful? You are Beautiful is the first story in my book of inspirational short stories, and I wrote it because I truly want women to know that. There are identifiable benefits to knowing that you are gorgeous inside and out. One is that a positive self-image fosters a rise in self-esteem and confidence.  High self-esteem will create that “can do, I deserve the best, and I’m going to go get it” attitude that motivates people to strive for and achieve success.  In a recent newsletter I received from The New Memphis Institute, an organization dedicated to nurturing the city’s up and coming leaders, they shared that it has been scientifically proven in studies that people reporting higher levels of self-confidence tend to be healthier and treat themselves better than people without it. Also with the rise of bullying among our youth, high self-esteem is greatly needed. It allows us to ignore those who choose to try to shroud us with statements about ourselves that we know aren’t true and the courage to put them in their place when needed.
In my 20’s I didn’t think I was pretty enough, my body was curvaceous enough, or that I was deserving of great things.  I wanted everyone to like me and hadn’t yet realized that is impossible. There is always someone who will have a problem with you and often it will be people who don’t even know you. Needless to say, the value I placed on myself was wrapped up in my value to others. I was one sad soul. In time I learned to love myself, flaws and all. I’ll never be perfect but when I look in the mirror, I see a beautiful confident woman who believes that “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” I may not always apply myself as well as I should but at least I know that the potential is inside of me. I just need to tap into. Now, what led to this attitude? I’m not ashamed to say that it was a man. My boyfriend in college recognized that my self-esteem was dragging on the floor like toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe and took it upon himself to change that. He told me regularly that I was beautiful and that he loved me and that I was worthy of his love. Actually he didn’t just tell me, he showed me. He allowed the love God has for us to manifest itself in him in order to transfer it to me. In time, his positive affirmations invaded my psyche and I began to act like all the positive attributes I knew I possessed. For that, I will forever be grateful to him.
However, you don’t have to have a man to accomplish this. You can do the same thing for yourself. I want you to look in the mirror and identify at least five things about yourself that you think are beautiful. They can be something on the outside as well as the inside. I bet you have nice eyebrows, a winning smile, a kind heart, or a great sense of humor. Revel in your own beauty. Unleash the power of positive thinking and know that you are one of God’s greatest creations. You do yourself a disservice by not acknowledging the awesomeness of His handiwork. The God I serve doesn't make mistakes only masterpieces.  You are beautiful my sisters! Internalize that knowledge and love yourselves like only you can. You’ll be happier. I promise.
Question: Who first told you that you were beautiful?
The Naked PenATTENTION!!!! 
The winner of the second book in the Things Every Good Woman Should Know Friends Giveaway is Ava Flatt. I am proud to present to you with “The Naked Pen” a compilation of anonymous short stories by Oosa Book Club. Congrats and enjoy!
Click here to learn how you can win a free book. “Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1” is on sale for only .99 cents for a limited time on

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know, Volume 1 on or Visit her at, and

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Infamous Penis Pics

"black-woman-looking-at-cell-phone bossip com"I recently met a man while out having drinks with friends. He was just my type-- tall, chocolate and handsome. We struck up a conversation. It was cool. He politely paid for my drink and before I left we exchanged numbers. The next morning, I received a text from him. It went something like this.

Him: Hello. Wyd?

Me: I’m trying to make myself get out of this bed.

Him: U off today?

Me: No. I do freelance pr and work from home.

Him: Oh ok…stay in bed…move over. I’m coming to lay down. Lol

Me: Sorry. No room. It’s a twin bed. (-:

Him: Yes it is. That’s plenty….

Me: No there isn’t with all my stuffed animals.

Him: Look here take them off and stop playing. Lol U know I just wanna come lay with you.

Me: Sorry. I must know you for at least 5 years and I need at least 3 character references for that to happen. #oldfashionedchick

Him: Ok lol

Me: Have a magnificent day!

Him: U too.

I thought that was the end of it but 10 minutes later I GET A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS!!!

(SIGH) What the hell! I’ll be honest. The brother was BLESSED! But I wasn’t looking to get laid and what on earth made him think that was appropriate. Furthermore, what made him think that such a picture would be welcomed? Couldn’t he tell from my texts that I wasn’t interested in going there? I ain’t that chick. You can't just come over and run up in me. I guess in his mind….if all else fails I’ll show her a picture of my largely proportioned penis. That will surely get me an invitation to come over. WRONG!  And in case you are wondering…no, I don’t actually sleep in a twin bed with stuffed animals on it but when I saw where the convo was headed, I decided to have a little fun in hopes that he could take a hint. I guess not.

If you are a single woman you probably have been sent a picture of a man’s penis at some point. I’ve received a few myself. For some reason it has become socially acceptable for a man to send a woman he barely knows a picture of his genitalia to entice her by showcasing the size of his manhood. I find this behavior disrespectful. If I want to see it, I'll ask.  If I don’t really know you and I didn’t do anything to indicate that such interaction was welcome, why do it? There used to be a time when men used discernment to determine whether a woman was the type that would be open to such sexual gestures. Now some of them clump us all in the same category and hope for the best. I can only assume this is because so many women don’t mind, encourage or even participate in sexting and sexing with people they barely know. To each her own.
After receiving the picture, I started to send a scathing text message telling him that I ain’t that chick! RESPECT ME! (snap, snap, snap, rolls neck and eyes!) I’m the woman that you have a relationship with and try to wife, not one night. I’m the woman mommas and daddies adore, not the one they pray he uses a condom with because God forbid she become the mother of their grandchild or give him a STD. After I got finished telling him that he had me confused with someone else and he needed to learn to recognize when a real woman with values was in his presence I was going to tell him to delete my number. Ole freaky self!  Instead, I took a deep breath and considered the source. I decided that it was best that I didn’t respond at all. He actually did me a favor. Instead of taking me out and pretending like he was actually interested in something more than sexing me only to get my defenses down and later lure me into his bed, he let me know up front what he wanted. Neither one of us wasted our time and we can both move on to someone who is interested in the same thing we each want. He can find someone who is interested in screwing attractive well-endowed strangers. I can move on to someone who wants to take the time to get to know me in hopes of creating a friendship that could blossom into a relationship.

Keep your penis pics, bruh….and I’ll keep it moving. Byeeeee Felecia!

oh BTW...I'm giving away books by some of my author friends. Learn more here,

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know, Volume 1 on or Visit her at, and