Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Infamous Penis Pics

"black-woman-looking-at-cell-phone bossip com"I recently met a man while out having drinks with friends. He was just my type-- tall, chocolate and handsome. We struck up a conversation. It was cool. He politely paid for my drink and before I left we exchanged numbers. The next morning, I received a text from him. It went something like this.

Him: Hello. Wyd?

Me: I’m trying to make myself get out of this bed.

Him: U off today?

Me: No. I do freelance pr and work from home.

Him: Oh ok…stay in bed…move over. I’m coming to lay down. Lol

Me: Sorry. No room. It’s a twin bed. (-:

Him: Yes it is. That’s plenty….

Me: No there isn’t with all my stuffed animals.

Him: Look here take them off and stop playing. Lol U know I just wanna come lay with you.

Me: Sorry. I must know you for at least 5 years and I need at least 3 character references for that to happen. #oldfashionedchick

Him: Ok lol

Me: Have a magnificent day!

Him: U too.

I thought that was the end of it but 10 minutes later I GET A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS!!!

(SIGH) What the hell! I’ll be honest. The brother was BLESSED! But I wasn’t looking to get laid and what on earth made him think that was appropriate. Furthermore, what made him think that such a picture would be welcomed? Couldn’t he tell from my texts that I wasn’t interested in going there? I ain’t that chick. You can't just come over and run up in me. I guess in his mind….if all else fails I’ll show her a picture of my largely proportioned penis. That will surely get me an invitation to come over. WRONG!  And in case you are wondering…no, I don’t actually sleep in a twin bed with stuffed animals on it but when I saw where the convo was headed, I decided to have a little fun in hopes that he could take a hint. I guess not.

If you are a single woman you probably have been sent a picture of a man’s penis at some point. I’ve received a few myself. For some reason it has become socially acceptable for a man to send a woman he barely knows a picture of his genitalia to entice her by showcasing the size of his manhood. I find this behavior disrespectful. If I want to see it, I'll ask.  If I don’t really know you and I didn’t do anything to indicate that such interaction was welcome, why do it? There used to be a time when men used discernment to determine whether a woman was the type that would be open to such sexual gestures. Now some of them clump us all in the same category and hope for the best. I can only assume this is because so many women don’t mind, encourage or even participate in sexting and sexing with people they barely know. To each her own.
After receiving the picture, I started to send a scathing text message telling him that I ain’t that chick! RESPECT ME! (snap, snap, snap, rolls neck and eyes!) I’m the woman that you have a relationship with and try to wife, not one night. I’m the woman mommas and daddies adore, not the one they pray he uses a condom with because God forbid she become the mother of their grandchild or give him a STD. After I got finished telling him that he had me confused with someone else and he needed to learn to recognize when a real woman with values was in his presence I was going to tell him to delete my number. Ole freaky self!  Instead, I took a deep breath and considered the source. I decided that it was best that I didn’t respond at all. He actually did me a favor. Instead of taking me out and pretending like he was actually interested in something more than sexing me only to get my defenses down and later lure me into his bed, he let me know up front what he wanted. Neither one of us wasted our time and we can both move on to someone who is interested in the same thing we each want. He can find someone who is interested in screwing attractive well-endowed strangers. I can move on to someone who wants to take the time to get to know me in hopes of creating a friendship that could blossom into a relationship.

Keep your penis pics, bruh….and I’ll keep it moving. Byeeeee Felecia!

oh BTW...I'm giving away books by some of my author friends. Learn more here,

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know, Volume 1 on or Visit her at, and 

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