Monday, July 14, 2014

Know When To Go

 Don't stay where you're not wanted!

You can’t make someone want you. That’s the harsh truth. No matter how much you love them or how bad you want your relationship. When someone decides it’s not working and they no longer wish to put forth the effort to make it work, it’s pretty safe to say that it’s over. It takes two people who are dedicated to one another to work through the problems that arise within relationships.

A few weeks ago I witnessed my neighbor put his hands on a young woman.  Actually, they both look pretty young, either late teens or early 20’s. I don’t condone that type of behavior but I heard him ask her to leave at least a dozen times and she refused. He said, “Gone, leave, go home, go that way,” and similar statements. She still continued to get in his face. Next thing I knew they were involved in a brief tussle that ended with her on the ground telling him to let go of her hair.  I yelled for him to take his hands off her. He did so.  And you know what? After that, she still didn’t leave.  I then yelled for her to go home.  It was after midnight. That was too late for such foolishness and I didn’t want it to escalate into something worse than it already had. At that point, her friend intervened and tried to get her to leave because they were afraid I was going to call the police. My neighbor walked over to the side of his house to get away from her. She followed him. Once again, I yelled across the street, “Young lady go home!” She said, "Okay," but didn't move. He went in the house and instead of leaving, she opened the security door and tried to follow him inside. At least he was smart enough to lock the door. Once, she realized that she was locked outside she and her friend finally left. He should have gone inside a lot sooner. 

I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. Both of them were wrong. He shouldn't have put his hands on her, and she shouldn't have continued to push his buttons when it was clear that he was upset.  It was obvious that he did not want her around at that moment but she refused to go. I don’t know what the situation was. Maybe they had a fight, and he needed time to cool off. Maybe they broke up.  Maybe he met someone else he like better. But at any rate, ladies when a man asks you to leave I suggest you go. I have a philosophy, I don’t stay where I’m not wanted because when you do you usually subject yourself to abuse--whether it be mental, emotional, or physical. He may start to call you names, make other derogatory and demeaning statements, or even put his hands on you in an attempt to get you to leave. Ladies, if you tend to be the aggressor in such situations, like the young lady in this situation,  I suggest you stop. Every man has his breaking point. He could have seriously hurt her if he chose to. Sometimes, all you both need is a little space and some time to think. Maybe he needs to miss you a little bit and reexamine if he really wants you in his life. Leaving could actually work in your favor. If not, tell that man it’s his loss and keep it moving.  There is someone out there who knows how to love and appreciate you.

A little space seems to be all those two needed because this week I saw them walking down the street holding each other.  They say the same biological chemicals that cause feelings of love can cause feelings of madness. I believe it.

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on or Visit her at, and


  1.'s sad we as women would allow ourselves to lower our self worth to have a man. I'm saddened at the story of your neighbors. Sad thing is some of this is learned behavior. We watched mama do it so we do it and the cycle continues.

    1. Yes, it is very sad Tennille. Walk away, I say, walk away. Thanks for reading my blog.