Monday, July 28, 2014

Say No, No To Nudes

Hot damn yo here we go again……. Another silly chick got caught showing skin!


I’ve addressed this topic before but because of the influx of recent news regarding women who have had nude pictures and videos leaked on the web I have decided to revisit. I’m sure you’ve heard by now how Benzino’s fianceé,  Althea Heart, of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta has had pictures and a sex tape of her leaked and they are now circulating the world wide web. I am not without sympathy when such things happen, but I’ll be honest, I have very little. Some people like to refer to the leaking of private photos/videos as sexploitation and refer to the women in the videos as the victims but I don’t see it that way. Such acts may be some cyber bully’s plot to defame their character but I consider them victims of their own foolishness. If women don’t take or send pictures or agree to participate in a video it won’t happen. Society has brainwashed women into believing that in order to entice, get, or keep a man we have to objectify ourselves and show him our goodies electronically as well as in person. The devil is a lie!

It may seem like a fun and exciting thing to capture those playful moments with your lover but unless you plan on becoming a porn star it probably isn’t a good idea. Why? Because after you’ve yelled cut and put your clothes back on who knows where that documented moment will end up. Someone could steal your laptop, you or your lover could lose your phone or perhaps you are dealing with someone selfish and immature who gets a kick out of showing his intimate moments to his friends. Let’s not forget incidents where women accidentally hit the wrong button and sent videos and pictures to the wrong person. Not too long ago a young lady sent a picture of herself nude to a number she thought was her boyfriend only to realize that she sent it to her FATHER! I’m sure that ended up being great dinner conversation. Click here for that story.  But no matter how the pictures or video is released the end result is the same. Not only will you be embarrassed but so will your family. In some cases, women have even lost their jobs because they caused the company embarrassment and violated the morality clause of their contract. I’ll never forget the elementary school teacher who accidentally burned her sex tape into a video she distributed to her students. The ones who saw it surely got a lesson that day! So, think before you push record because you just might end up being the one who gets played in front of thousands of people you don’t even know. Play it safe and always make nude photos and videos a No, No.  Here’s a few things to ask yourself before you send or agree to participate in photos or videos with nudity.
    1. Do I trust this person enough to be 100% sure they won’t share these photos or this footage with anyone else. Probably Not
    2. Can we both keep them 100% safe? NO
    3. If I ever become famous, decide to run for public office, or file a lawsuit against someone of prominence can these photos be used against me? YES!
    4. If me and this individual ever break up will I get these photos or videos back? NO!
    5. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO!   Do you think Jesus would send you a pic wearing nothing but his beard? Better yet, what do you think Jesus would say if you accidentally sent your nudie to him instead of your man. And no he will not be impressed because he’s already seen your goodies.   
As women, we have enough obstacles to overcome. Especially, in the area of business where we have to scrape, punch, and kick, in some instances, to be treated as equals.  So, it is integral that we protect our integrity, our reputation, and our personal brand.

However, if you are going to participate in sexting play it smart and only send photos like that to your HUSBAND. Notice that I didn’t say your boyfriend you’ve been with for two months or your fiancé who hasn’t made it to the altar yet but your husband. The man who has stood before God, your family, and a judge or preacher and vowed to love, honor, cherish and PROTECT you. As your protector, he of all people should be interested in protecting your integrity and your ability to make future earnings. But be forewarned, that when going through a divorce love has been known to turn to hate. Secondly, ONLY participate in photos (NO VIDEOS) that you are taking and/or will have possession of (STAY IN CONTROL) and do not show your face and/or cut the head off of each picture before sending. After sending, destroy the originals.  In the event that your phone or another electronic device is stolen they won’t fall into the wrong hands. Now, if you have distinct markings like tattoos, birthmarks, and moles that are easy to identify this will NOT help you. If the pictures end up becoming public property people will still be able to tell that it’s you.

I hate that I needed to put the last paragraph but the truth of it is some of you won’t stop taking pictures naked even if I offered to pay you to do it. Take my original advice ladies and just don’t do it. You can still send cute, sexy, and tastefully done pictures to your Boo without exposing your goodies. It seems the more technologically savvy the world gets the dumber and less responsible the people in it become.

LORD HELP!

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Visit Jae at, www.jaehendersonauthor.com and www.imagoodwoman.com.

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