Monday, March 16, 2015

Love, Heartache and Pain

Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you
--Whitney Houston 

I often lay in my bed on my back with my feet resting on the headboard looking at this print. I purchased it in college at one of those poster sales they have at the beginning of the semester and it adorned my walls for most of my four and a half years in undergrad. Years later when I bought my first house I had it framed and placed it above my bed. I don’t know who it’s by but this painting has always spoken to me. It is such a colorful striking symbol of what two people who care for and support one another can share. It’s all I ever wanted but for some reason it still evades me.

I don’t know how much disappointment one heart can take before it stops threatening to put up a wall and just does it. I don’t think men know the damage they do when they look a woman in her eyes, tell her he loves her and then betrays her trust. The way I feel now I wonder if that’s the way my mother felt when my father got her pregnant and then didn’t marry her like he said he would. She put up a wall. She never loved another man. My entire life my mother never had a boyfriend, not even a date. I hate she did that. She could have made the right man amazingly happy. She was a good woman. The heart is such a fragile thing. We tell ourselves to just “shake it off,” “we’re bruised not broken,” “get out there and take a shot at love again”. It’s not always that simple. 

During her later years, my mother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and she created a delusional boyfriend. His name was Edward and they were getting married. She deserved to have someone special even if he only resided in her head. Perhaps her mind did that so she wouldn’t die alone. No one wants to be alone. We were not created to be alone. However, who wants to be with someone who doesn’t know how to love them honestly and honor them? I ask everyone who reads this to be careful when you play with someone’s emotions. You never know the damage that it could do. 

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on or Also, visit her at