Thursday, June 18, 2015

A Peom: Inside My Mind

I was feeling poetic today. Enjoy!



When I stare into your eyes I don’t know what to think
But then again I’m not thinking
I’m just being
I’m just breathing
I’m just soaking up the joy of being in your presence
My eyes are dry because I refuse to blink
Afraid that I may miss some of the magnificent things you do like smile, lick your lips, or speak
That voice it makes me so weak
It sounds like melodic tunes in the month of June played in the park while I enjoy an ice cream cone with nuts  
 Aaaaaah so refreshing
Your words are sheer poetry as they escape those perfectly formed lips evoking eargasms and body spasms 
I am in love with you and you don't even know I exist 
I don’t dare speak what’s on my mind for fear of rejection
I’d rather just fantasize about what you would say
Because inside my mind you never turn me down
My advances are welcomed with hugs and kisses and professing of your reciprocated love
Yep it really does feel good loving somebody when somebody loves you back
And that’s a fact
But could this reality ever exist outside my head
I’ll never know because I’m not that brave
 I’ll continue to love you inside my mind where each and every day you are all mine

Monday, March 16, 2015

Love, Heartache and Pain



Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you
--Whitney Houston 


 
I often lay in my bed on my back with my feet resting on the headboard looking at this print. I purchased it in college at one of those poster sales they have at the beginning of the semester and it adorned my walls for most of my four and a half years in undergrad. Years later when I bought my first house I had it framed and placed it above my bed. I don’t know who it’s by but this painting has always spoken to me. It is such a colorful striking symbol of what two people who care for and support one another can share. It’s all I ever wanted but for some reason it still evades me.


I don’t know how much disappointment one heart can take before it stops threatening to put up a wall and just does it. I don’t think men know the damage they do when they look a woman in her eyes, tell her he loves her and then betrays her trust. The way I feel now I wonder if that’s the way my mother felt when my father got her pregnant and then didn’t marry her like he said he would. She put up a wall. She never loved another man. My entire life my mother never had a boyfriend, not even a date. I hate she did that. She could have made the right man amazingly happy. She was a good woman. The heart is such a fragile thing. We tell ourselves to just “shake it off,” “we’re bruised not broken,” “get out there and take a shot at love again”. It’s not always that simple. 


During her later years, my mother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and she created a delusional boyfriend. His name was Edward and they were getting married. She deserved to have someone special even if he only resided in her head. Perhaps her mind did that so she wouldn’t die alone. No one wants to be alone. We were not created to be alone. However, who wants to be with someone who doesn’t know how to love them honestly and honor them? I ask everyone who reads this to be careful when you play with someone’s emotions. You never know the damage that it could do. 

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Also, visit her at www.jaehendersonauthor.com

Monday, February 2, 2015

New Year, New Talk Show

Before I became a book author, I was a radio personality and talk show producer and host. I am proud to announce that I am co-hosting a new blog talk show for those who love the Lord and literature as much as I do. The other host is inspirational writer Ta'Mara Nicole. Our first show was Thursday, January 22nd and I must say I enjoyed myself. The show airs every Thursday at 6 p.m. CST. I hope you will join us this week as we discuss Christian Dating. It promises to be a great discussion. Yet, in the meantime you can check out last week's episode Christian Do's and Don'ts. We talked about some behaviors that may be a little questionable for Christians such women who wear tight outfits and cleavage out to church service, Christian entertainers who have have a clean and a dirty show, Christians who drink alcohol and go to the club, those who say they want a good Christian woman/man then get upset when they are asked to wait to become intimate. See what our guest gospel artist Duran Buckingham had to say. Click here to listen.

THIS THURSDAY.......


The show was great and we even had a chance to talk to certified dating and relationship coach/executive matchmaker Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams Levister. Listen to it here.

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Also, visit her at www.jaehendersonauthor.com


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Da Love Ink: To Cover Or Not To Cover

BEFORE
Small, medium, or massive we all know a guy or gal, for that matter, who has a tattoo dedicated to their ex inked on them. This artistic expression of what was once love can be a little unsettling for the new Boo or it might not bother them at all. I personally, can deal with it while we are dating if it's not too big and is usually covered by clothing. However, if we jump the broom it has to go. Why? She is his past and I'm his present and future. I don't want to be reminded of his past every time I see him with no clothes. Although, people whose spouse kept the tattoo tell me that after a while you forget it's there. Awww Okay! 

I would hope the object of my affections would do it without me having to ask but I'm not above asking. I'm sure many people wonder why wasn't it done right after the split but the only people I’ve seen who got their tats covered up right after the split are celebrities. The average person walking around on the street usually waits a few years. I once met a guy whose right arm was largely dedicated to his ex-wife. It had her face and everything. When I asked what he planned to do about that, his answer was pretty much, “nothing”.  As far as he was concerned, all of his tattoos represented moments and experiences in his life and his marriage was a pivotal one. Well, it’s his arm and I'm sure covering that up would cost a pretty penny. 

When someone takes the time and money to cover up their skin shrine to the former goddess or god of their heart, it’s safe to say that the love affair is truly over. See the example of  Nick Cannon and his dedication to Mariah Carey

My advice is don't get any identifying tattoos with names, initials, faces, etc. If you stick to symbols of love, if it ends no one will be the wiser and you can save the cover up fees. 


What are your thoughts? Would you be okay with your love bug or spouse having a tattoo of someone they were once involved with? 

AFTER

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Also, visit her at www.jaehendersonauthor.com

Monday, December 8, 2014

I Got Cuffed During Boo Season




Those of you who have been following me for a while, know that I abhor Boo Season. Last week, I reposted a blog I did about it in 2010. I think a lonely, narcissistic individual with no conscience and a disdain for long-term commitment came up with Boo Season. I'm also pretty sure it was man. Probably the same dude that invented, “kickin it”. So, I actually find it hilarious that I would meet someone and enter into a relationship during Boo Season. You know I had to make sure that he wasn’t trying to run game, right? You can see our text conversation below:

Me: You’re not just trying to date me for Boo Season, are you?

Him: I’m not sure what you mean, please explain.

Me: Boo Season is when you date someone during the fall and winter months because it’s too cold to be out trolling for women. You have someone to cuddle with and spend time with during the holidays. Once it gets warm again, you make up some idiotic excuse to break up so you can date other people during the hot months when everyone is running around half-naked. Sometimes, people break up before Valentine's so it doesn't seem serious or they don't have to buy a gift.

Him: How about this? I want you for 30 consecutive Boo Seasons.

Me: So, you want to be with me up until I’m 67. So you can use up all my good years and then dump me for a younger woman. No sir!

Him: That didn't go quite like I planned. You have a point.

Me: LOL! It’s okay. I know what you meant.That's so sweet!

As you can see, I’m still giving men a hard time. LOL Seriously, I knew he was a good guy but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t investigate just to make sure. I thought I would share our interaction to give you guys a good laugh. Avoid Boo Season people! Happy Holidays!

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Also, visit her at www.jaehendersonauthor.com.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Boo Season: Bah Humbug!



Originally Published 09/26/2010

It’s fall and Facebook is a buzz with posts about Boo Season and how it’s the time to find someone to keep you warm during the winter months. I guess this isn’t a new concept.  But it seems odd to give it a name and a brand. Call me green but I never thought people would actually seek out someone just for this time of year, but it’s understandable. No one wants to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve alone. I can see how an extra gift under the Christmas tree and someone to kiss when the clock strikes midnight to signify a new year would be appealing. Let’s not forget Valentine’s Day. That highly commercialized day when people are supposed to flock to the stores and spend obscene amounts of money to prove their love for the object of their affections. No woman wants to admit she didn’t get a thing because she had no one to give her anything.

But why do people treat being single like it’s an incurable venereal disease? With the alarming rate of divorces, the staggering number of illegitimate babies being born each year, the escalation of HIV in the African American community and people who change significant others like they change underwear I think it’s safe to say that some people may have been better off alone at certain periods in their lives. For them having a boo, even if it was for just one night, probably didn’t turn out the way they thought it would.

 


Right now, I’m cool with being single but I know there will come a time when I’ll long for constant companionship. Human beings are not meant to be alone, but I don’t believe having a man just for the sake of having a man would be wise, at least not for me. I’m almost certain it would end in heart ache and pain. Although, it might reduce my urge to change the station when that depressing song “What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas?” escapes my speakers or stay inside my home when V-Day rolls around. I used to say if I ever met Cupid I would tear off his wings, break all his arrows and pour ice in his diaper. Then would follow a painful interrogation period about why he hasn’t hit someone with his arrows on my behalf. (LOL) But back to Boo Season….what happens when spring hits, the weather improves, we all escape our winter lairs with less clothes and less inhibitions. More than likely the man I thought loved me will reveal that he wants to be free to explore other options but his time with me has been fun. Boo Season all of a sudden turns into BOO HOO season and I will have to come to grips with the fact that I allowed myself to be used. I think I’ll boycott Boo Season. Instead, if I start to get lonely I’ll….hell I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll figure that out when it happens. To those of you who choose to participate, I wish you good luck and warm nights accompanied by a great game of footsie.

Whoever started Boo Season needs to go see a psychiatrist. It’s obvious they have a co-dependency issue. (-: 


Next week I'll give you an update on where my stance lies on Boo Season in 2014.  

My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. Also, visit her at www.jaehendersonauthor.com.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Friends Help You Live Longer


Me and My Bestie Tracy R.
I’m not sure if I want to live a long life, but I do know that I want to live a good one. According to an article I recently read in Men's Journal Magazine, “Nearly all the research into healthy aging has found that the key to a long, happy life is not diet or exercise but strong social connections or friendships. Loneliness accelerates age related declines in cognition and motor function, while a single good friend has been shown to make as much as a 10-year difference in overall life expectancy.”
That isn’t surprising to me, but it is interesting. The article goes on the say that men have greater difficulties in creating and maintaining friendships than women. Although, if I can draw on my experiences and those of others I know, while women have no problem in creating friendships, sometimes we have serious problems in maintaining them. Some say that it's because we are too jealous-hearted, petty, or catty. If you watch reality TV that’s very easy to believe. Women on those shows are full of drama and always fighting. They were friends or at least friendly toward one another at the beginning of the season and by the end they can’t stand one another. Even in my own life, I’ve realized that when women have problems with one another instead of talking in out we often just stop talking to one another. Often, it’s over something quite silly. Years of friendship down the drain over a misunderstanding or hurt feelings. It’s quite sad, if you ask me. We must do better ladies simply for the sake of living well into our 90's, if nothing else. (-:

The article also says that  “loneliness is just as harmful as not exercising, smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and alcoholism, and fully twice as bad as being obese….Isolated people tend to exercise less, eat poorly, and drink too much.” One study found that loneliness in and of itself is a killer, “Lonely people have chronically elevated levels of stress and fear hormones cortisol and epinephrine .” Wow! I have to get more friends…FAST.
I for one am happy to know that the fountain of youth has always been as close as our BFFs. We can spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, Botox, anti-aging creams and medical procedures designed to help us look and feel younger but if we really want to maintain the kid in us we simply need to develop meaningful friendships with one another. Although, I’m sure none of that will matter if we don’t maintain proper diet and exercise, but I can truly see how happiness can play a part in longevity.

In my opinion, it is especially important that we single women have good friends. It helps to keep us from becoming desperate and dating any man who comes along so we won’t be alone. It is our good friends who will ask us why we are dating someone who isn’t good for us. They can provide an objective opinion when we are contemplating whether or not to date someone seriously. It is their love for us as a true friend and their desire for us to be happy that will  allow them to tell us he’s a keeper or drop that loser regardless of if it will make us angry. And it’s our ace that will bring over our favorite fatty foods and hand us tissues as we cry if that loser breaks our heart. She might also tell us to go get fabulous and take us out to party and get drunk to numb the pain for a few hours. So, next time you look in the mirror and notice an extra wrinkle or another gray hair instead of going to your favorite drug store or make up counter and buying another product, call your BFF and invite her to lunch.
Question: So what are your thoughts: Do you believe that healthy happy friendships can help you live longer?

*In case, you wondering why I’m reading Men's Journal, whoever lived in my house before me had a subscription and they have begun sending him copies again. I’m assuming that it’s in hopes that he will renew. I’m actually really enjoying the articles.

Here are some of my other amazing long-term friends!

 
Me and Anetra B.
Me and Gwen W.
Me and Dorsha J.
 

Me and my sister Van












My Side of the Single Life is by book author Jae Henderson. Her inspirational romance novels, Someday, Someday, Too, and Forever and a Day are now available in ebook (Kindle and Nook) and paperback. Get her new ebook Things Every Good Woman Should Know Volume 1 on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com.